Please help if you can !

Sorry to bother you with my marital problems.
Things had been getting worse for a long while. The usual stuff - hostilities, bickering, leggo blocks in my bed, ground chilli in the tea caddy and so on - sometimes I was even getting locked out - or locked in.
I was continually told I am a degenerate, alcoholic and nicotine addict. This is not true !
I recently had a serious think about the situation and decided my wife needs someone or something to love and cherish.
Something to cuddle, nourish, take care of and have faith in.
So I bought her this cat from Alberts's wife for the price of a packet of Marlborough Lights.

I have often heard of a family pet helping out with problems like we have.

Well it was not to be - here is a picture as of today 10 am !!
So now the Missus has two of us !

Anyone want our "Smoozy" in exchange for a packet of Marlborough Lights ?