HU'S ON FIRST By James Sherman ------------------- We take you now to the Oval Office ...... George: Condi ! Nice to see you. What's happening ? Condi..: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi..: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi..: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi..: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi..: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi..: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi..: Hu. George: The Chinaman! Condi..: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi..: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi..: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi..: Yes. George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi..: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi..: That's correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi..: Yes, sir. George: Yassir is in China? Condi..: No, sir. George: Then who is? Condi..: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Condi..: No, sir. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi..: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi..: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi..: You don't want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. guy on the 'phone Condi..: Yes, sir. George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condi..: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call ? Condi..: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi..: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China ?! Condi..: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi..: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.) Condi..: Rice, here. George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?